The Hardest Thing
by Chloe Delfine
Summary: What will you do when you have to choose between obligations and your heart? Is doing the right thing always the right thing to do? One-shot songfic. RKO/OC. Please enjoy!


We both know that I shouldn't be here

_**Disclaimer: As much as I would really like to, I don't own anybody except Katie Rosseau. Credit for the song 'The Hardest Thing' goes to 98 Degrees. Please enjoy!**_

_**--**_

_We both know that I shouldn't be here  
This is wrong  
And baby it's killin' me, it's killin' you  
Both of us tryin' to be strong  
I've got somewhere else to be  
Promises to keep  
Someone else who loves me  
And trusts me fast asleep_

"Randy, sweetheart," He turned towards the sound of Sam's voice. "I'm pregnant! We're going to have a baby!" She leapt into his arms, the sheer glow of excitement lighting up her face.

"That's great, honey." Even to him, his voice sounded hollow. His heart was beating a thousand beats a minute. Definitely he was excited about starting his own family – it was what he wanted, right? Right? He had always wanted a big family and this was the start to that dream. But, if it was so right, why did it feel so wrong?

His mind flashed back to all his recent matches – he saw a sweet, slight, brown-haired girl sitting just out of the camera angle, smiling at him, ever present, ever supportive. He saw her run up to him backstage, with a bottle of water and a towel. He saw her follow him into his locker room, making sure to close and lock the door securely before enveloping in a huge bear hug, sweaty and all. Not Samantha Speno. Katie Rosseau.

He buried his head in his arms, a growl of frustration escaping him. He punched the wall hard, hoping the physical pain would take away the emotional turmoil churning within him.

Thinking back, he wished he could have done things differently, made different choices in life.

Katie was the young executive, newly hired by Mr. McMahon to take care of the operations of Monday Night Raw – comprising the logistics, the operations and the scheduling. He had bumped into her while she was trying to resolve the issue of camera angle positioning in light of the upcoming pay-per-view. They struck up a conversation, which led to a dinner, a firm friendship and…

Amidst one of their numerous dinners, Katie had led slip that she was still a virgin, a fact that Randy couldn't help but question – his argument being in this day and age, where would you really find a 21-year-old virgin, not to mention a pretty one at that?

A week later, Randy put paid to that problem. After Raw in Chicago, in the safe confines of his hotel room, Randy Orton took Katie Rosseau's virginity.

Katie was wonderful to him – no doubt about that. She attended to his every need – she woke up early to get him breakfast every morning, could intuitively tell when he needed to be left alone, had everything he needed when he needed it, took his moods without batting an eyelid and never said no when he wanted sex. She had a fabulous sunny personality that brightened up the room once she stepped into it.

He punched the wall again. Thinking back, he could, he should have done things differently. He should have just stayed away from her. He was married, for crying out loud. But, he didn't. Once they had become too far entrenched in their relationship to back out, he had no choice, he had to tell her he was married. There had been tears, she had wanted out. He begged her to stay, promising that he'd leave his wife. This had been a promise he'd been telling her for the past two and a half years.

He knew that she loved him beyond measure. And in his heart of hearts, he did too. There had been speculation in the past amongst the roster about whether there was something going on between them. After months of assurance that there wasn't, that they were just good friends, the issue had been dropped. Whether they finally believed them or whether they knew but just chose to say nothing, Randy didn't know and he didn't want to ask.

But now, with the baby on the way, leaving Samantha was out of the question. Yet, did he have the strength, could he really leave Katie?

That night, he slept nary a wink. He tossed and turned, seeking out the answer. He had a wife who loved him, pregnant with his child. He had a girlfriend who would do anything for him. Obligations vs. the desires of his heart. No matter what decision he made, someone innocent would be hurt. Badly.

He knew that the issue of being with him while he was still married bothered Katie very much. But, after one fateful night, the first time, the _only_ time, he had raised his voice at her, she never brought it up again.

The next morning, he knew what he had to do.

_  
I've made up my mind  
There is no turning back  
She's been good to me  
And she deserves better than that  
_

"I'll see you tonight, princess," he said over the phone.

"Okay, darling," she replied. "I love you so much."

He closed his eyes, willing himself to stay strong. His words seemed to have gotten caught in his throat. "I love you too."

_  
/ In Katie's Hotel Room / _

Randy groaned as he came inside hard inside Katie. He stayed motionless, enjoying the rhythmic pulsing around his manhood. "That was incredible, baby," he said softly as he pulled out from Katie.

Katie smiled, quietly nodding her agreement. She reached out her arms towards Randy. "Cuddle?"

Randy pulled on his boxers and moved over to Katie's side. He pulled her into his arms, feeling his heartstrings tug painfully as she snuggled into his arms. She nuzzled her head into his chest. "I love you so much, Randy. I never want this feeling to end," she murmured, dozing off.

Randy struggled very hard not to cry. He pulled her as close to him as he possibly could, without suffocating her.

_It's the hardest thing  
I'll ever have to do  
To look you in the eye  
And tell you I don't love you_

Feeling the warm morning rays on her face, Katie stirred from her sleep. She tried to turn round; but was stalled by Randy's strong hold around her waist.

"Mmm, don't move, baby," Randy whispered into her hair, not knowing that she was awake. "I love holding you like this. I love you, baby. You complete me in a way I never thought possible. I love your smile. I love your beautiful kind heart. I love how you make me feel special with each and every thing you do. I love how you love me. And trite as it is, I love you for being you. You make me feel like I've never felt before. I can't imagine a life without you. I don't want to. I really don't. You complete me. I love you, Katie Rosseau. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I'm sorry…"

She closed her eyes, smiling to herself. "Awake so early?"

Randy looked a little guilt-stricken, a little embarrassed at being heard baring his heart. "I couldn't sleep."

She turned round, successfully this time, gently stroking his face. "Why baby?"

"A lot of stuff on my mind."

"Share them with me?" Katie looked into Randy's eyes, her liquid brown eyes melting his heart even further. He hated himself.

"Nah."

"Come on, baby. A problem shared is a problem halved. Nothing is too hard for us to solve together," she stroked his face again.

_It's the hardest thing  
I'll ever have to lie  
To show no emotion  
When you start to cry_

Randy never felt such pain in his life. His heart felt as though it were literally being ripped from his chest. He pulled Katie into a sitting position. He held both her hands in his and looked her straight in the eye. "Katie…"

She tilted her head to the right, looking at him expectantly.

He cleared his throat. "Katie… I can't see you anymore."

Katie looked shell-shocked. "Wh… What?"

"I can't see you anymore."

"Why?" Katie looked as though she was about to cry. "Did I do something wrong?"

Randy really hated himself. "No. We just can't see each other anymore. That's all there is to it."

Katie had, by this time, broken free from his hands. Tears were streaming down her face. Randy couldn't feel the pain from her fists hitting his chest; the pain in his heart was far too potent. "Why are you doing this to me? You promised me you'd leave Sam. You promised me you'd never leave me. You promised me you wanted to marry me. You promised, Randy, you _promised_."

_I can't let you see  
What you mean to me  
When my hands are tied  
And my heart's not free  
We're not meant to be  
It's the hardest thing  
I'll ever have to do  
To turn around and walk away  
Pretending I don't love you_

Randy closed his eyes tight, willing the tears to stay back. "I'm entitled to change my mind, Katie."

"Why? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me," Katie begged, held his hands in hers. "I can change."

"Stop making this harder than it has to be," he said coldly.

"You just told me that you loved me, Randy…" her voice trailed off. "Were you lying?"

He gulped, resolving his voice to stay steady as he told the biggest lie of his life. "Yes."

Katie collapsed in incontrollable tears. She curled into a fetal position, the force of her tears shaking her whole body.

"Look, I've got to go now," Randy said, closing his eyes, to prevent the tears – already at the edge of his eyelids – from spilling out. "Goodbye, Katie. Thank you for the past three years. I'll always remember them fondly."

Randy picked up his gym bag from the chair, shouldered it and walked out of the room; without a second glance. He didn't dare to turn around, knowing that if he did, he wouldn't have the strength to walk out. He could still hear Katie crying behind him.

As soon as her door closed, he collapsed against the wall; his own tears pouring down his face. He had never felt such pain in his life. He opened his mouth to scream but no sound emerged. He was overwhelmed by silent sobs, more excruciating than anything he had ever experienced in his life.

He buried his face in his hands, silently whispering words that he wanted to tell her but knew he couldn't. "I love you, Katie Rosseau. More than anyone in the world. More than anyone ever will. I wish you only happiness, happiness that I could never give you. Someday, you'll meet someone. Someone who will be able to treat you like the princess that you are. Any man who doesn't treasure you is a fool, and I'm the biggest fool of all. I'm sorry, Katie. I love you. I always will."

_  
I know that we'll meet again  
Fate has a place and time  
So you can get on with your life  
I've got to be cruel to be kind  
Like Dr. Zhivago  
All my love I'll be sending  
And you will never know  
'Cause there can be no happy ending_

He wiped his eyes dry, took a deep breath and stood up. He walked down the hallway, knowing that things would never be the same. How could they be when his heart would never be complete ever again.__

Maybe another time, another day  
As much as I want to, I can't stay  
I've made up my mind  
There is no turning back  
She's been good to me  
And she deserves better than that


End file.
